At the Mandela Memorial today President Obama shook hands and exchanged pleasantries with Cuban President Raul Castro. Much has been made of this nothing. So much so that #WhatObamaSaidToRaulCastro was trending on Twitter with wild speculation about what Obama whispered. I used this as an opportunity to write some jokes. Here’s what I came up with:

– I’m staying in room 69, if you catch my drift. That drift can be caught in room 99.

– My cigar is bigger.

– Haters gonna hate.

– You Havana good time?

– I’m tripping balls right now, dude.

– My wife is taller than you.

– Do you think I’m pretty?

– Get to the Moon, then we’ll talk.

– Have you tried the freedom fries, bitch!?

That is all.